Today was one of those days. The company I work for, NTN/Buzztime took off from work at 11:00 to go play at the beach. Days earlier, I had been notified by e-mail that I was assigned to "team 3" for the games by a team member named Kathy. The company wouldn't tell us what games we were gonna play.  I had lots of fun e-mailing Katy with all kinds of warped ideas for our team.  When the team voted for captain, Katy was elected, she immediately told the team that I was to be the captain.

This is what came of it:

The team was called "The Buzzbomzz," everyone wore horns on thier heads, warpaint, and clothing of Black, red, white or grey. I refered to my teammates as "My Minions." Even though we didn't know what the games were we were still asked to come up with a strategy, I used an inspiration from a friend of mine named April: "We are here to suck the life force out of each and every one of you mere mortals in order to feed our army of winged monkeys."  We routed the other teams, winning 6 - 0. Whats more, ours was the only team that had a member in a wheelchair and even better, we couldn't have done it without him. Our team won because we were the best, everyone led in their own way.

I led my Minions to victory with horns on my head, warpaint, a fur vest, fur boots and a foxtail hanging from my belt. I topped it off with a victory firedance that was met with a standing ovation.

Wow, its great to be alive :-D

=^.^=

Yesterday evening I went to San Diego's Lindburgh Airport to pick up some friends of mine from a trip. When I spotted them, and moved over to the curb an officer from the San Diego Harbor Police approached my car and demanded tyhat I hand him my license and step out of the car. The problem? My front license plate was bent slightly foward. The officer informed me that this was proof that I had been drinking and had obviously hit something with my car and then illegally fled the scene! The officer questioned me at length as to where I had been that evening and demanded to know what kind of drugs I was on. When I informed the officer that I'd had nothing to drink, and that the license plate had been hanging that way for quite some time, he accused me of lying and said that that could be held against me if I didn't cooperate. The officer then proceeded to perform a Field Sobriety Test. I of course passed easily since i had not been drinking. Failing to find any grounds to arrest me for, the officer then proceeded to run my license to find out if he could find anything else to bust me for. Failing that he practically threw my license at me and told me to leave.

I thought about taking his name/Id/badge and filing a complaint, but then my higher self spoke, "energy grows where energy goes" Since the officer was acting from suspicion and mistrust, which by any other name is unforgiveness, I chose to forgive him. This does not mean that I am condoning his action, but I am merely letting go of my upset that arose from the treatment I received.

However, it is unfortunate that the very thing the officer is supposed to help thwart; terrorism, he has in fact caused. How, because now I'm scared to go to the airport. I am now more afriad of the San Diego Harbor Police than I ever was of any 'other' terrorist. I am told that the goal of terrorism is to spread fear, that officer sure scared me, and I'm afraid to go to MY public airport, not because of any outside threat, but because of the emotional terrorism that the culture of fear and mistrust here in the U.S.A has given rise to.

Once again, I find myself asking how all this is going to lead to peace. What I want to know mostly is how to change the conversation that we citizens of the world are having from one of fear and mistrust to one of forgiveness. Then and ONLY then will I feel safe from the threat of terrorism.

=^.^=

Gods Bless zaadzs!!!!!!!!!  (crying happy tears!!!)

My experience today thanks to love, zaadz, has been one of possibility.

I'm an Indigo and while I have sought after and received many of lifes ultimate thrills there is one thing I never experienced.

Meeting someone like me...  (more tears)

Thanks to zaadz today I did just that, I met people who understand. We have a lot to talk about! I want to know how it was like for anyone who was experienced being Crystal/Indigo. I'll share openly all of my experiences, though I have to warn you I've done some VERY Dark & Scary stuff. (I meant no harm!) I just didn't understand the consequenses!  I have been sorry to this day! (sorry crying again.)

I really want to understand the gift here, I really do.

So!

Now I can share with others who are Indigo AND!

For the first time!!!

I get to talk to Moms and Dads and other loving souls who care for our future! (o.k, its getting hard to read now!)  :)

Thank you for reading this, and being who you are, I understand the magic of zaadz now and I know that I am blessed!

Guess what?

I might just make some sense out of this Stone Soup we call life! Yay!

I'll let ya know!!!  :-D

A grateful friend!

=^.^=

I bet a lot of people who read this thought about forgiveness on Sept 11th.

Safe bet huh?

I spent much of the day within earshot of the radio, 2 stations. I felt sad for much I heard, because so much remains unhealed.  So I took the opportunity to go inside:

To the doctors who said I wouldn't make it past 18 if I wasn't institutionalized, thanks for caring enough to have the guts to tell my folks something like that.
Guess what!  I didn't need to be institutionalized, and I made it!!!  Hurrah!  You cared, thanks!

To all the kids who teased me because I was different. Hey guess what? You were right! I really am different! Thanks for pointing it out to me. Its fun! You should try it sometime. : )

To my lost loves...

I tried, i really did, I did my best.  Thank you for caring, and sharing in my life. I hold each tender moment precious they are my gold. You believed in me, and with that, we can transform, the magic of forgiveness becomes gratitude.

Gratittude, what a wonderful place to arrive on my September day's journey. Thank you Goddess, for the blessing you gave me on September 11th.

Namaste

=^.^=

My High Priest calls up to share something with me; he talked to my ex-fiance today and she shared something with him that instantly healed so much pain...

He shared with her that relationships that work are always blissful and loving, never filled with conflict. She told him that the only relationship she ever had that was like that was the one she had with me. It meant a lot for me to hear that because that is what I tried so hard to give to her. At the same time my heart cried out because she said that ours was the ONLY one she ever had like that. I am saddened that all relationships are not like that.

I am grateful for her validation, and I wrote her telling her that. I am grateful that this has opened a place in my heart that was closed with unforgiveness. I am left with my judgement about myself for that. I am grateful for the tears, and the peace they bring.

Finally I am grateful for gratitude itself, because it feels so wonderful!

thanks for reading this, its nice to share

Today a close friend of mine told me her mom died.

A great sense of loss came over me and I started to cry. I'd never thought about what that would feel like, but I guess its time. My first feeling was one of vulnerability, I don't even know if I could be strong enough. My second was to the last thing I said to her, then, I smiled. I said I love you.
Three little words can mean so much.  I feel that the gift the angel of death offers us is the ability to hold dear. Would mom means so much and would I have realized how much I truly love her if not for my friend sharing her experience with me? I think not.

My heart still cries out: Such a high price to pay!!!

I just wish it didn't hurt so bad.

But I'm grateful nonetheless for the experience. Somehow I feel more alive for the experience, more here somehow, perhaps that too is the gift of Death. I know that in this consciousness I can experience life just once and thats it! Spirit chuckles, but my awareness does not hear, for my heart cries out for the ones I love. Perhaps I should seek detachment, no requirements mean bliss after all.

But...

I want to feel, I want to experience it all. My attachment to my mom means that I love her so deeply that mere words fall woefully short of the mark. So I choose to embrace mortality, even my own, because those who I hold dear are my treasure, and knowing that Death promises no tomorrow makes them that much more dear.

Blessings, and thanks for your time

Foxy